21 August 2024 at Arteles, Finland
MD: This is Melissa Delaney and it's Wednesday, the 21st of August, 11:09 a.m. at Arteles Creative Centre in Finland. And today I'm joined by…
Amy: Amy Von Witt, am a convert from South Africa and I'm very happy to be having this conversation.
MD: Me too. Great. Thank you for coming.
The first question is a really big question.
Tell me who you are.
Amy: Oh, who am I? Yes, I am a soul having a human experience. Mm. I think I might be Palladian or. Or maybe have, like, a Lemurian background, because these things really stand out to me. And I feel that I'm here to have a big impact in the world. Um, this is like my, my biggest driving force is to have a big and positive impact on the world. I try to do that in all ways possible. Little or big. And I think one of my biggest fears would be to leave this world without having an impact. But I know that's already it's done. I have already made a big impact. So that's okay. But I want to do more, you know, I want to use my time in a really positive way.
MD: When you say you look Palladian, when you say big impact and that you know that you're you're doing that already, what are some examples of things in your mind that are the big impacts?
Amy: I want to have a reach on a lot of people, with creating positive change in the world. Through my biggest value which is kindness. Through spreading kindness and love. And at the moment, I'm working as a nanny with two children and having taught in schools in the past and being in group situations, I've known that, okay, I'm having an impact on a bigger group. Now, to be with just two children was quite a big shift. But I see the impact that they have on their cousins and friends, because the girl that I work with is the oldest out of six cousins, and I will teach her things like emotional regulating and to see her embody that and then go to her cousins when they're having a difficult time emotionally. And then she'll do what I've taught her. That's just so beautiful because I see the impact that I'm having, not just on her life, but on others lives. You know, to come.
MD: That's really beautiful. One part of it is role modeling. Role modeling that kind of practice, embodying that practice of self, planting those seeds in your communities. And then you're actually seeing how that grows and the impact of that. That's really beautiful. I have friends with a five year old and they're very keen on that as well. And when he started preschool, he did this amazing thing when one of the other girls was crying and he took her to the side and asked if she wanted to sit down and have a cup of tea.
Amy: Oh, that's so cute.
MD: I think it's really beautiful that there are adults in the world that are guiding young people through that. How to use their emotions to acknowledge emotions, to not be overcome by emotions and to work with them. So it doesn't become this really daunting kind of aspect of us as humans. It's really beautiful work. That's amazing.
You also talked about part of who you are in addition to that soul led work and being a human at the moment and doing that work. You are an artist as well? So tell me a little bit about that.
Amy: I feel as a creative person, art is so many different things, right? I haven't been actively making art in a very long time. I think I had a bit of an artistic block, but to be here in this artist residency, I've worked through that and I'm making art again. So at the moment I'm working on tapestries, which I'm loving. I usually just love doing things with my hands. I just feel into what inspires me. And as a child, I used to make little garden installations, so I would just be outside all the time, collecting things from the garden and making little installations. And then I monetised it at one point because my mom had a tea garden, so she would have people coming for lunch or tea and I would say, do you want to come through my little installation walk? And they have to pay me a little bit of money and I'd give them a guided tour. I've always been drawn to art. and I used to draw and paint, but I'm also a musician. I also sing, and so I feel like creativity is in me even when I'm not actively using it. I also sometimes make jewelry, I love ceramics, I do a lot of different things, and it just depends on where I am and what I'm feeling drawn to.
MD: I love your studio space here. It's very beautiful. And the flowers that you have in there today are incredible, beautiful, wild flowers. And the light that you've created in that space is really beautiful. Thank you.
Where did you grow up? Where were you making the garden?
Amy: I grew up in the most magical place on Earth. It's a small village in the mountains in South Africa called Hogsback. And it's named Hogsback because there are three mountains that have a rocky outcrop on top. So they look like hogs lying on their backs. So they are the three hogs. They say that Tolkien based the Lord of the Rings on there because he did spend some time there. So it's this beautiful mountainous place with waterfalls and rivers and streams and so much beautiful nature. I had a very lucky upbringing in that I was just outside all day. I wouldn't want to come in at night. My mom would come looking for me and I would hide in the bushes because I wouldn't want to come inside. I didn't have jungle gyms, I had trees, I had streams and I've been vegetarian since I was five because the animals were my friends. It was a very small, small village. I think maybe 500 people. So I made friends with the animals. We had chickens and geese. And once I realised I was eating my friends, I just couldn't justify that anymore.
MD: Did you have your own language that you communicated with the animals?
Amy: Not really. It was a silent kind of communication. We had one chicken that lived in the bathroom. Her name was Lucky because her foot got caught in the chicken coop, so she had a bad foot. She used to lay her eggs in the bathroom, and we would go into the bathroom and she'd be living in there. The geese were very scary. I didn't like the geese.
MD: Geese are pretty scary. They chase you and they're quite aggressive.
Amy: It didn't help that we would try and go look at their eggs. Every time they laid eggs, they'd be out in the garden and we'd sneak in, and then they'd hear that we were there and they would just come flying over, making a huge noise. I was a bit traumatised by geese.
MD: Despite the geese, that's a really beautiful upbringing and place to grow up surrounded by nature and animals. And it sounds like it gave you a really good creative start, with the world around you in a beautiful, safe environment growing up.
The next question is two strands. And we'll start with you as an individual, as Amy and then you can respond to the question more broadly into your external environment.
What’s the first thing that pops into your head when you think about care?
Amy: For me personally, Care. Making sure that one's health and vitality is at the optimal. So practices around vitality.
MD: What are some of those practices?
Amy: For myself personally it is Rest. That’s been so wonderful here at Arteles, because I don't get enough rest when I'm at work. And here I've been sleeping, so much. It's been great.
MD: Sleep is good.
Amy: Yeah…So, rest, water, healthy food and nourishment. And also, caring for your individual needs. For me, I am a very social person, but I'm also an ambivert. So balancing the alone time versus the social aspect is a very big part of care. And as an empath, I can really drain my social battery quite quickly. And it's nice to be able to have the space to really balance that in a way that I need.
MD: What are some of the things that you think from being at Arteles that you're planning on taking away and maintaining?
Amy: Honoring rest when I need it. I've really felt more like myself again here. So what would I take back?, listening to my intuition more and doing what I want to do when I want to do it. And that's not always possible. Yeah, that's really tricky, actually, but, trying to listen more to myself and my needs.
MD: It's been an amazing experience here to do that, I think. I'm an ambivert as well, and I love that. I love that outside my door, I have people here and I can engage when I want to, and then I have all these spaces to do activities and then the quiet spaces as well. So it's been really beautiful getting back in touch with myself for me as well.
In terms of your broader work and your broader life as Amy in your own communities, but also the world, what do you think about when you think of care?
Amy: I think Care in relation to people, with how you are to people, taking care with being kind. As someone who values kindness, I'm not always the kindest person. Even in school, I had times where I was a bit of a bully, and I'm not proud of that. But these things happen. And so, taking care with how you are around people and managing your emotions., I've been working a lot on myself, and trying to respond and not react. In terms of the broader society and world, just taking care in relation to people.
MD: Speaking of care, tell me more about your current day job.
Amy: I'm a nanny, and I work mostly with one girl. She's nine and a half, but her sister is five and has her own nanny as well. Sometimes I have both of them, and I do all of the caring duties, actually, from waking them up, getting them ready for school, giving them showers and baths and homework, taking them to activities and just also being like a mentor for them. And getting them ready for bed, brushing their teeth, all of the caring duties, putting them to sleep, reading them stories. I've gotten them into Enid Blyton, which has been great.
MD: One of the best parts of my childhood, every Saturday, going to the library with my dad and getting the weekly supply of Enid Blyton books.
Amy: They both love to read. The five year old is still learning, but the nine year old is always in a book. She loves reading, which is great. They love art too, which is wonderful. We do a lot of fun things. One morning the five year old woke up and she just jumped out of bed and said, I need a pen. And she started drawing and she drew this little doodle of a squid. She said it's a squid. And then she started putting crazy colors on it. And to have that just urge, as soon as she woke up to draw this little squid from her mind, it was amazing.
MD: She must have had a squid dream.
Amy: Yeah, they're really, really wonderful girls. I love them so much and I miss them because I've been with the family for two and a half years now.
MD: Do you live with the family?
Amy: I live on their property. It’s really rewarding, but also very challenging because their needs often come before mine. So I do get very worn out. I had, like, a mini burnout in April this year. It can be exhausting. So you just really need to also care for yourself even more when you're working in a caring job.
MD: What did you do to come out of the burnout to recover?
Amy: So much journaling. A lot of crying. It was during the eclipse season and that was hectic. Wow. It really threw me. And it made me question so many things about my life.
MD: Where do you live as a Nanny?
MD: I live in Riyadh, in Saudi Arabia.
It’s a very different lifestyle as well. I'm very comfortable there. I'm someone who loves change. I love to move around the world. I've lived in lots of different places. I travel a lot. And also growing up with my mom, we moved around a lot. So I got used to that. I thrive on change. I really, really love change. But now I'm 31. So when I moved to Saudi, I was 29, about to turn 30, and I decided I wanted to be more grounded and try and make this place a home and sort of have roots because I haven't had that. So the first six months were very challenging. I kept wanting to run. I kept wanting to leave. I was questioning everything and thinking, is it really worth it because I work so hard six days a week, sometimes 15, 16 hour shifts. So I was questioning, is the money really worth it? Because the money is good. And that's why I took this job. I wanted higher paying childcare work. Then I decided to just stick with it, at least for a while, and have those roots and be grounded. So that was all going really well. I bought myself a car last year. Cash. It's my first car that I've ever owned, and it was a big milestone.
MD: Where's the car?
Amy: It's in Saudi, in Riyadh.
MD: Wow. You drive around there?
Amy: Yeah, and that's made my life a lot better, too, because I have the freedom to go see my friends and do what I want to do. Even with grocery shopping and stuff, it's nice to not have to Uber. And if you've got multiple places to go, you have your own car, so that's great. And that really helped. I've made it a nice little living room with my plants and it's become homey because in the beginning I was like, I don't want to get stuff because what if I leave? But then in April, when I had this mini burnout, I was really questioning everything. And once again, I was so close to rock bottom in my life, I was even reading through my journal entries because I printed out this like eclipse workbook that I was working through, and at one point I was like, I'm so ready to just rock bottom my life and quit my job because I know that the universe always provides. Whenever I've been at rock bottom, the bounce back from that has just been so amazing. I know that it just pushes me to my edge and then it's beautiful. Breakthrough. I was this close to just quitting and rock bottom in my life. But again, I'm trying to be more responsible. So it's been a slower process and I am readying myself to sort of transition and step away from this within the next year, six months to a year.
How I came through the burnout was journaling. A lot of crying. Then, at one point, they were going to Jeddah for the weekend, and I had a stomach bug. I wasn't actually sick physically, but my soul was sick. I wasn't myself, I could barely talk. I was like a shell of a person. I never miss work, or take sick days. I'm always there, even like 6 a.m. every day, getting them ready. I'm always at work and today I couldn't. I said, I'm sorry, but I have a stomach bug because that was the only thing that they could understand in terms of a sickness. That's because I wasn't coughing or anything but a stomach bug. It was the only thing that made sense to say. I couldn't say, I'm just having this crash and soul breakdown, but I just needed that time. I flew the next day to Jeddah and joined them. They gave me the time to sort of get myself better, which helped.
MD: I'm interested in your being a Scorpio as well, because in my experience with Scorpios, there's a lot of depth there and great intensity. That would have been a really intense eclipse period for you.
Amy: It was, I've never felt something that intensely. There were two eclipses and Mercury was in retrograde and just everything. It helped me to know that there was all this planetary stuff going on, and I was listening to a lot of podcasts about it, because I am really spiritual and I follow a lot of spiritual podcasts and people that helped to sort of explain what was going on.
MD: But it was still your experience. You can know, and have those maps and understanding, but it's still your personal experience that you're working through, and you have to actually feel yourself and navigate your way through. I really like your self-awareness around using those breaking points as a bounce off.
Now as you're kind of gotten through into your early 30s, that you're wanting to go a bit deeper and a bit further on not getting to the breaking point to bounce off. Bouncing off before you get to the breaking point. Which is a really beautiful thing, I think. And, like, you don't have to go that far to get that far. So that's amazing in terms of care and your work, caring for others but caring for yourself within that.
The next question is for you, Amy. How would you like to see more care for yourself embodied in your future.
Amy: This is actually something that I really have been thinking of since April and all of that rock bottoming, a lot of signs kept coming to me, of not wanting to work so hard. I was listening to a lot of things about longevity. Something that stood out to me was when people are on their deathbed and they talk about their regrets. A lot of people say that they regret working so hard. And that really stuck with me. I'm like, I'm working so hard. I don't want to regret this. And I'm doing it as a means to an end. And I know that it's not going to be forever, but I'm like, how long do I want the sacrifice to last for? Because I also want to enjoy my life. I really love living life and I love work life balance. So going forward, I don't want to work as much as I do. And just have more balance, more time for me and for rest in my life.
This residency has really helped me get clear on it. Now I feel like I'm very clear, but that's what's easy to say while I'm here. But when I go back, I know it's going to be a lot harder to stick with that, but I've kind of given myself a six month build up to this, to what I want to do next.
MD: That’s incredible. I think that once it's in your mind, even if it's a loose direction, it's a direction nonetheless. And particularly if you're highly intuitive and you know those right steps so you feel it. So it doesn't matter that it's a way off or it's not kind of clearly manifest yet. We did some human design stuff in the kitchen the other night and you're a manifesting manifestor. The way that you go through the world and then how you're setting things up, in kind of working with the universe to provide and to bring you things, nd to show you direction. You’re really finely tuning that, which is really gorgeous.
Amy: It's a lot of trust. Trust in the universe. And that has been hard at times. I've gone through some really difficult times where I've been very lost and not sure what's going to happen. And I've just had to surrender to trusting the universe. And it's always just been so amazing on the other side of that. So from that experience, I've built a really strong trust muscle with the universe and knowing that.
It's really nice now to not have to worry so much when things are unclear and I'm lacking clarity. It's more exciting for me than fearful, because I know that there's just going to be so much magic coming through and talking about intuition. I've had so many intuitive calls to go to Columbia, and it just keeps getting more and more. So that's where I want to go. I have to honor that call, but I'm not just about to, like, quit my job in a day and go. I'm building up. I'm thinking of the steps that I need to take to get myself there.
MD: That's very good.
Amy: We’ll see what happens, what the universe has in store for me there.
MD: That sounds like a good future.
Beyond you as Amy and your current world and current life, in your mind, what kind of things would you like to see in the future in the broader world around care?
Amy: More community. And more caring for the elderly like we used to in the community. I feel especially in Western society, there's so much individualism and pushing away from the family unit. And that really makes me sad. I get sad that I'm far from my family and it's really hard. I want to build a community wherever I am. I want more community values in the world for care and looking out for each other and neighbours and friends and caring for others. It's a human trait that we're losing because we're so individualistic.
MD: And it's part of your idea in creating an international network of artists around that community building as well?
Amy: I want to have creative community hubs, in different locations. Starting off with Colombia.
It's so exciting when you think about it.
MD: That sounds amazing.
Is there anything else you'd like to add before we close off?
Amy: No, thanks. This has been really fun.
MD: This is beautiful.
Amy: Thank you.
MD: I'll shut this off now. Beautiful. 28 minutes and seven seconds. Well done.